At My Best
by ThroughTheAshes
Summary: "I shout, I swear, I get angry, I get scared. I fall, I break, I mess up, I make mistakes. But if you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me, at my best."


Unbeta'd.

Inspired by Machine Gun Kelly ft Hailee Steinfeld - At My Best

* * *

 _ **Shout.**_

She just wanted to scream. Wanted to do something, anything. But she couldn't. She sat there as her mom critiqued her. Went over every little thing that was wrong. She'd done it a thousand times before but today Betty had had enough. She was meant to meet Jughead ten minutes ago but now it looked like that wasn't going to happen any time soon. Alice had arrived home from seeing Hal and had some anger she needed to let out, that meant that Betty was a target.

She waited another ten minutes before her mom stopped to take a breath. In that pause Betty had grabbed her jacket and walked out of her room, Alice shouting after her. She ignored her and walked out of the house. She made sure to slam the door behind her.

Taking a shaky breath she walked over to the Andrew's residence. Jughead was sitting on the steps scrolling on his phone when she approached him.

He pocketed his phone and looked up at her. Smiling softly he stands up and takes her hand. They don't talk and she doesn't ask him where they're going. He just takes her past Pop's. He found this place the other week. It was out of the way so that no one would disturb them but not so isolated that if they wanted to leave then they could.

"Juggie, where are we?" Betty asked looking around the field

"A safe haven." He shrugged, "Found it the other week when you were away. Figured you could use an escape."

She turns to him biting her lip, "You heard didn't you."

"What the dulcet tones of Alice Cooper?" He raises an eye brow, "Yeah I did."

She sighs, "I just. God I want to leave there. I hate it when she comes back from seeing my dad. She takes everything out on me then. Everything."

He watches as she runs a hand over her face.

"It makes me want to scream. Shout. Just anything to make her stop." She runs a hand over her lip and closes her eyes.

"So shout." Jughead says, "Scream. You can do that right now. It's just us and well some birds possibly a rabbit or two but let it out."

"What?" She huffs a laugh

"I mean it." He nods at her.

She stands there and looks at him. He actually means it. He wants her to shout. To scream. It takes her a minute or two but she nods back at him.

Moving away from Jughead she stands in the middle of the field and screams.

* * *

 _ **Swear.**_

She stands there watching as Jughead settles back into the sofa before raising an eyebrow at the back of his head.

"So I take it that I'm going to be making all of the food then. For everyone?"

"Well we could always order something."

"After we went and got all of this food." She gestures to the kitchen behind her as he turns to look at her, "You're joking aren't you."

"Well-"

"Don't even answer that. It's fine. Just you sit there and I'll do it all."

"Betty-"

"Don't." She cuts him off, turns on her heel and heads back into the kitchen

She suggested that they throw a party whilst her parents are out of town. They were going to order food and then someone said that they'd give a hand in the kitchen if they wanted to make their own food. So that's what they did. They went shopping and grabbed some things that are easy to make. And now they're in this situation where Betty is the one making everything and Jughead is sitting in the other room.

She pulls everything out and places things on trays putting them in the oven at the designated temperature and whatever length of time it takes. She runs a hand over her face as she looks at what's left to do.

Grabbing a knife she starts to chop away at the salad. She's not concentrating so it's not really a surprise when she cuts her finger.

"Fuck." She says dropping the knife and turning to the sink and placing it under water. She watches as her blood runs down the sink mixing with the water.

"What did you do?" Jughead asks moving into the kitchen.

"Cut myself." She says turning the tap off and moving to grab the first aid kit.

"Let me have a look." Jughead says reaching for it before she can.

She sighs, rolls her eyes but holds out her finger for him.

"I was coming into help." He says quietly, "Archie just wanted me to text him back about something."

She hums wincing as he puts some alcohol jell on her finger. She watches as he pulls out a plaster and places it on her finger.

"All better." He kisses her finger softly and she smiles at him.

Even though he makes her want to pull her hair out at times she loves him.

* * *

 _ **Angry.**_

He's been ignoring her all day. He sees her coming in the hall and he'll turn on his heel and walk in the opposite direction. She joined their group at lunch and he make some lame excuse and left the table.

She doesn't know what happened all she knows is that she's pissed.

Has she done something? Who knows because he won't talk to her for whatever stupid reason he has. Well if he's playing this game then she can too.

She left last period knowing full well that she was meant to be going to work on the next edition of the Blue and Gold with Jughead, instead she made plans with Veronica saying that they were up-to-date with everything.

Veronica didn't question it. She smiled, linked arms with Betty as they headed towards their appointment for their mani-pedis. Betty could feel herself relaxing when they were there. They gossiped and giggled away about anything and for a fraction of a second she wasn't angry.

When Veronica's phone chimed mid conversation Betty watched as her friend reached over and picked it up taping away she spoke, "They guys want us to go to Pop's after this. You in?"

Betty nodded.

They spent another thirty minutes before paying and heading out towards Pop's. When they got there Betty felt the anger that had been going away this afternoon slowly start to make its way back in. She slid in next to Jughead and mumbled a quiet hello. He did the same, pausing and looking away from his laptop screen for a fraction of a second.

She's definitely done something. That's the conclusion that she's come to.

They sit their making small talk before Veronica says that she needs to head home, Archie stands up saying that he'll walk her home. They leave the two of them sitting in silence.

It's Betty that makes the first noise, she sighs and gives an excuse that she's tired and that she'll see him tomorrow before making her way out of Pop's not even five minutes after Veronica and Archie.

She's at the sidewalk about to cross the road when she feels someone behind her. Spinning around she goes to hit whoever it is only for her fist to be stopped by a hand.

"Whoa." Jughead says lowering their hands, "What was that for?"

Betty laughs, "Oh now you're talking to me?" She raises an eyebrow at him as he looks down.

"Betty I-"

"I don't really wanna hear it tonight you know. Not really in the mood. You've been ignoring me for the whole damn day Juggie. What the hell?" She asks her hands moving around as she talks.

"I-"

"Don't want to hear it. Seriously. If I've done something you can tell me tomorrow because right now I'm heading home. Alone. To sleep."

He watches as she walks away from him. He knows he's messed up and right now he's not sure how to fix it. All he knows is that his Juliet is pissed.

* * *

 _ **Scared.**_

She didn't know what to say let alone what to do. What does someone do in this situation? She bites her lip as they look at the timer.

This had to happen to them didn't it?

They were safe, well she thought they were. And now it looks like they're going to be in the same situation as her sister Polly.

God her parents are going to kill her.

She looks to her left at Jughead. He's as white as a sheet and his knee is bouncing up and down. She reaches over and places her hand on it rubbing small circles into his knee.

"It'll be alright." She whispers

"Yeah." He agrees and looks at her, "God Betts, I'm so sorry."

"Hey this isn't your fault. It was the both of us."

They settle into a comfortable silence then. Both waiting for the timer to go off and when it does neither of them move.

It's Betty that walks over to her dresser and looks down at the stick. She sighs and closes her eyes.

"Not pregnant."

* * *

 _ **Fall.**_

She doesn't know when it happened all she knows is that she loves Jughead Jones. She doesn't know how to tell him so she keeps it to herself waiting for the right moment to tell him.

She could feel herself falling for him and she didn't know how to stop it. She thought that she loved Archie- and maybe she does but it never felt like this.

It's when they're out later on in the week, she takes one look at him and says it.

He's shocked, eyes widening as what she says sinks in. She goes to back pedal, to try and get around what she's just said but he won't let her.

He smiles and looks at her.

"I love you too Juliet."

* * *

 _ **Break.**_

He knows that she's fragile, more so than most but after the failed attempt at a birthday party which would have been good had it not been for the univited guests showing up, it's only then that he realises just how fragile she is.

He's lucky that he didn't break his hand when he punched Chuck. God knows he deserved it.

He listens to her as she tells him what she's feeling. He feels stupid that he didn't notice that it was this bad. That his girlfriend has been going through something so hard that she hasn't told anyone. She hasn't told him. He doesn't know what he can do other than tell her that he's going to be there from here on out. That if she feels herself on the edge, if she feels like she's going to break that she can come to him.

Her mom may not have wanted her to tell him everything but he's glad she did.

He's in this for the long run. This isn't a fling to him.

* * *

 _ **Mess Up.**_

They say there next to one another. Neither one saying anything as they watched Alice Cooper pace back and forth in front of them.

In their defence she wasn't mean to come home tonight. She wasn't even meant to be in town which is why Betty invited Jughead over so they could watch a film or two. Cuddle and well you get the idea. Except they were half way through the first film, neither of them were paying much attention. I mean who's paying attention to Brendan Fraser trying to talk to Rachel Weisz when they've got Jughead Jones laying on top of them kissing you?

It certainly wasn't Betty.

They were halfway through The Mummy when she felt his hand on her thigh rubbing circles which she thinks he thought was soothing. They were, they also turned her on especially considering how close they were to one another and how they had an empty house to themselves. She turned to him and kissed his cheek his hand stopped rubbing the circles into her thigh. He then turned his head and captured her lips in a kiss.

She turned towards him just as he kneeled on the couch lowering her down and resting above her. Their kisses became frantic Betty only breaking free for air when she needed it but Jughead took that as a welcome invite to attach his lips to her neck.

She trapped him in between her legs then and that's when the grinding started. And from there his hand underneath her top. From there her top on the floor. His jeans soon followed until they were both clad in only their underwear.

Neither of them had noticed when headlights lit up the room. They were both to engrossed in each other.

When Alice Cooper opened the front door it was like a bucket of ice water had been dropped over the two of them. They realised where they were and what was happening.

They knew they'd messed up but they didn't have it in them to care.

* * *

 _ **Mistakes.**_

Everyone makes them, that's what she keeps telling herself. Everyone makes mistakes. He's not going to flip out when he finds out that she's sent his work into a magazine. No he's definitely not. She's going to tell him later on when they're alone and not surrounded by people. She knows he can see that something is eating away at her but he doesn't say anything and for that she's grateful because she fully believes that if he were to ask her she's most likely just blurt it out right here right now.

It's when they're walking home from school that she says that she has something to tell him. He waits patiently for her to elaborate but she doesn't. They walk past Pop's and head straight for the Cooper residence.

He watches her as she paces back and forth in front of him whilst he's sat on her bed.

"I did something."

"I gathered that." He chuckles

"No Juggie I." She pauses and licks her lips, "I found one of your stories the other day. You'd left it here. I read it. I read it and god Juggie, it's brilliant."

He frowns, "Ok, you read one of my stories so what?"

"Imighthavesentittoamagazinetogetpublished." She rushes out.

"What?" He asks

"I erm, I sent it into a magazine to get published." She closes her eyes

"You did what?" He whispers

He isn't sure that he heard her right. She said that she sent one of his stories into a magazine right? No he must be hearing things.

"I sent-"

"Oh God I wasn't hearing things." He runs a hand over his face "Wh-"

"It's good Juggie. Really good. I didn't want to be the only one that's read it either. I wanted others to get the chance to read it too." She bites her lip, "I'm sorry. God I'm sorry. I thought you'd like it and then I nearly chickened out but then I didn't and I thought that it'd make a good surprise oh God. I shouldn't have done it."

He can see that she's starting to panic but he currently doesn't have it in him to comfort her. He's still trying to process that she sent on of his stories into a magazine. He knows that she meant well with sending it in but without asking him? Without him knowing which one?

He takes a few calming breathes before he opens his mouth. Pushing his beanie off of his head he lets his dark hair fall into his eyes.

"Which one?"

"What?"

"Which one did you submit?" He asks raising his eyes to meet hers.

She smiles slightly, "The one about the girl next door."

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He wasn't expecting that. It's their story. Well in a sense it is.

"I can ring them back and tell them-"

"No." He takes a breath and stands, walking towards her, "No."

"No?" She asks biting her lip as he stands in front of her.

"No." He raises his hand to cup her cheek. "You made a mistake, but this this could be a good mistake."

* * *

"I shout, I swear, I get angry, I get scared. I fall, I break, I mess up, I make mistakes. But if you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me, at my best."


End file.
